Finding out for yourself

I find it interesting that a great many people I've met have never had it occur to them that they can find out the truth of life's most difficult questions all by themselves. Well, it is also true that one does need to be introduced to the concept by somebody else, but once a person has found the source, he/she can practice and get quite good at it on their own.

What I'm referring to is quite simple: asking God directly about the truth of important questions (both personal and general to humankind). It seems so simple, to ask God directly, but so many people find it very difficult or impossible, or that they can't have an answer, or that there is no God who answers.

Let's start with a little framework to understand this better. We have a few assumptions that need to be established: there is a God, He can answer and cares about us, and that He answers when we pray and ask serious questions (believing deep down that He will answer). All three of those assumptions can be validated by giving it a real, honest try.

But herein lies the challenge. Without knowing that God exists, and that He answers prayers even so, how do you muster up the faith to believe that He is there and will answer? How do you even pray? How long do you wait for an answer before throwing in the towel? What if you ask a question and get an answer you don't like or didn't expect? There are a lot of questions that arise in our minds before taking the step into the unknown.

The answer, of course, like the premise (just ask), is simple. You find someone who has a deep conviction and experience regarding answers that they can testify of, and listen to what they say. It starts with hearing someone tell you about it before you know to even try, and that your efforts could result in an answer. (A deeper question is, who told them first, and who told them, and so on until who told the first people on the earth? That's a topic for later, but is a very relevant question.) Next, with all sincerity, you swallow your pride and try to believe that they are telling the truth, even if it's a jump. Let that belief work in your heart for a while until you muster up the courage to find out for yourself. Even if you only have a desire to believe, that is enough; you have to start somewhere.

When you ask, you need to be prepared to do so alone. It's not necessary, but having the guts to talk to God without anyone else to get in the way can be a powerful thing. You'll know when you get there if you are sincere, because if so, you won't feel like you're talking to the wall, but will feel like there is someone nearby, listening intently. Speak to Him like He is your father, and talk honestly about how you feel. Ask for help, and ask for a confirmation, even if just a good feeling, that He is there and He is watching over you. Then you wait, patiently, and listen. You might need to try this a number of times, perhaps over a long period of time; some seem to get answers quickly, and some seem to have a longer test ahead of them to prove if they really are sincere. In any case, if you truly believe that you'll get an answer, you will.

To know that there is a God, and that He answers prayers, is knowledge that can't be equaled. Nobody can take that away from you. What is more, is that once you know that, you can have the confidence to ask Him if other things are right or not that are important in your life. The same process applies, and as you do this more and more you'll get better and better at it. Like all things, communication takes practice, to learn how God specifically speaks to you. You may start to recognize those same communications later when you're not praying, and you'll start to have your mind expanded and realize just how much He is involved in your life. (Hint: it's a whole lot.)

Of course, I am speaking from experience. I'm not perfect at this whole prayer thing, but I work at it. It has come to the point for me that, when I am not doing the right things in my life, I feel a very deep void when I cut myself off from that communication. I hate it so much that I feel very motivated to correct any issues and get back to where I can have that guidance again. I have learned a number of truths, and they are so burned into my heart that I could never forget nor deny them; I know them and trust these truths possibly more than I trust what I see ("seeing is believing" is somewhat of a wimpy philosophy to me these days).

Here are a few things that I know for certain. There is a God, and He is the father of our spirits. Our spirits existed before this earth life, and this is the next step in our progression. As we are the spiritual offspring of God, we are meant to become like Him if we do the right things to get there; we are not some experiment or playtoys of deity, but rather we are God's children. I know that we are not perfect, and that God is, and so to make up for the gap and allow us even a shot at becoming more like God, we need a savior who can do for us what we can't do for ourselves. That savior is Jesus Christ, the literal son of God (spiritually like us, but physically also, unlike us) who paid for our mistakes and offers the chance to bridge the gap. His conditions are repentance, belief in Him, and we must do all that we can to follow the commandments and endure to the end. It's a pretty amazing bargain, if you ask me. There is a lot more I have learned, but that's a good start.

Of course, you really ought to find out for yourself. Just ask God Himself.

On President Gordon B. Hinckley's passing

There are a lot of people I admire. I'm a software developer, and while I have my philosophical differences with a number of prominent people in the software world, I know a good programmer when I see one and I admire them for their dedication to their work and to whatever cause they choose. I admire a lot of people, in fact, and strive to take their good examples and integrate them into my life.

But there are few people that I would call a hero, or a person that I would want to be more like in every detail. That regard tends to be reserved for exceptional people who show exemplary lives; the most obvious example being Jesus Christ. The men who comprise the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the LDS Church, or the Mormons) fit the bill quite well. They are called to the same post as the apostles of the early Christian church, and as such are considered prophets, just as prophets of old in the Bible. Preposterous, you say? It most certainly isn't, and I'll tell you about President Hinckley to show why he is a hero to me, and why I have no doubt about him as a Prophet. He passed away on January 27th (of 2008), and I'm sad to see him go.

President Hinckley was a funny man. He would stand up to speak in General Conference (where the whole church gets together to listen on TV or over satellite tranmission, etc.), and crack a joke or two that would have everyone laughing heartily. On the other hand, he always had something serious to address, and he always did so without mincing words. Captivating to listen to, he spoke with such clarity that you always went away from his talks thinking, "I want to to better. I can do better."

He inspired goodness in people, but he always directed them toward God in the process. He pleaded with people for tolerance of other religions and views, pleaded with people to serve others, and pleaded with people to avoid pornography, smut, sleaze, abuse, carnality, and all things related to them. He always showed optimism; and his optimism was contagious. There was no hint that even someone who was struggling with bad habits or problems had no hope. His teachings were nothing less than the modern-day wording of Christ's teachings in their purity, and it's obvious where he got them and who he credited with what he taught.

But a good person saying and doing good things does not mean they are a prophet. I know a lot of people who go about doing much good, and they definitely aren't prophets or anything like one. As background, some day I'll post about the first president of the LDS Church and his story, but suffice it to say that President Hinckley received his authority via the Priesthood traceable back to Christ himself, and I truly believe that. With that said, I'd like to share a personal experience regarding President Hinckley that shows my personal conviction on the matter.

For the first part of my university studies, I was at BYU (Brigham Young University); I later transferred to Utah State University to finish my CS degree. While at BYU, we had the good fortune of being able to listen to various religious leaders and faculty speak about religious matters. President Hinckley came to speak, and everybody was excited about it. We all went early to the basketball stadium to snag a seat, and it filled up pretty quick (I think it seats about 22,000 people or so). Everyone was chatting, and the general buzz in the Marriott center was quite audible. About 5 seconds before President Hinckley came in, I had this little thought in the back of my mind say "stand up." I did so, and realized as I did that everyone else was standing up at the same time, and all of the talking stopped. 20,000 people, and not a peep out of any of them. He came in right after, and everyone started singing the LDS hymn "We thank thee, O God, for a Prophet". As this was occurring, and I was looking down towards the podium at him, I had a very strong, warm feeling come over me and the clear thought in my mind saying, "This, Mike, is truly a Prophet of God."

There was no mistaking that feeling. There is no simulating it, nor is it the effect of brainwash or any other erroneous cause. It was a simple, pure manifestation of the Spirit of God teaching me a simple principle, one that I could then never deny. Having that knowledge has given me a greater desire to follow what President Hinckley has taught, and helped me to realize just how important it is to know that God has not left us without a voice in modern times, and that He didn't just stop talking to us.

President Hinckley was an amazing person, and accomplished much good in his life. I'm sure he is quite happy to be with his wife again (who passed away a couple of years ago), but we'll miss him. To sum up my regard for this man, may I quote from the Book of Mormon, speaking of captain Moroni, but cast it in terms of President Hinckley:

Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto [Gordon B. Hinckley], behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.

May you crack many jokes among those that have passed on before, and rest in peace, our dear old friend. We'll miss you.

On Motivation for Temptation

Temptation always starts with something benign, simple. A little thought to go look for something with a little flare, or casually spend your time in a way that gets you closer to the line of trouble without crossing it. It's easy to go that far because, well, it's not far. There's virtually no guilt that comes at that point. You tell yourself that you'll back away if you get close to falling for the temptation, and that you can handle it.

Except for that little nag in the back of your mind that is only heard in echo, as it bounces off the far mountain ranges of your mind. It is trying to tell you that your motivations are evil, and you are only looking for trouble. To get closer to any of it is to endanger yourself beyond your capacity to backtrack, it says.

But a little of something that isn't offensive or actually dangerous won't hurt, right? You lull yourself one or two steps in that direction, and act on the temptation. But you quickly discover that there are forces that are working very hard to accelerate you faster than you anticipated. Someone always spikes the punch, and someone always takes your seemingly benign first step and corrupts it with something from the wrong side of the line. You recoil, but it's too late, you've already tasted it. You back away a bit, patting yourself on the back. But now that somebody crossed the line for you, even if only for a brief moment, it's easy to hang around the line. You'll keep a wary eye out for those jerks who pull shenanigans.

Boom. They're too sneaky, and they did it again to you. And now it's even easier to straddle that line, as that nag is getting quieter because you've let it run off. You tell yourself that you need to get out while you still can, but your momentum is hard to stop. Just a little longer, and then you'll stop giving in on your still relatively benign actions. Or are they benign? It's hard to tell, your judgment feels a little bit clouded, but you remember that you didn't go very far in the first place, right?

Wrong. Now it's time for bed, and like a good little saint you have to say your prayers. Except you are scared to say them now, because you don't want to face your Maker over your blunder and slippage. That little voice wanders back in, wagging its finger, saying, “I told you not to, but you didn't listen. Fat lot of good that did you.” You decide to be tough, to ask for forgiveness. You really want it, and you have a part of you that really doesn't want to do that ever again. You really mean it.

The next day, you fall flat on your face, again. The same routine, the same shame, except it was a little easier and the guilt is a little further away. Lather, rinse, repeat. Depression starts to set in, and your ability to stay on the correct side of the line erodes, sometimes so much that it surprises you. You realize that your motivations really were never good in the first place, and that even stepping that direction was a huge waste of time, but it's so hard to stop now. It's nigh unto a habit, if it's not already.

Except you have a choice. You always have a choice. You can always choose to turn back, to stop what you are doing. It's hard, yes, but it is always possible. You have the power to choose to run away from what is causing you to inch, and sometimes tumble outright toward the place you don't want to go. You don't have to become the person that is on the other side of that line.

So you resolve to overcome it, to take the bull by the horns and knock it clean out. But how? It's easy, at least in terms of words:

• Rely on God. Don't you dare stop saying your prayers, even if you feel guilty, because it will do you more harm to stop and will just mean you are in trouble and you are wimpy.
• That little nag is your conscience, and you've got one for a reason. If you keep ignoring it, eventually it'll stop talking to you. So don't ignore it. When you get that sinking feeling in your gut that you're about to step toward something you should not, cut and run. You'll regret it every time you don't listen to that internal voice that says "No, don't do it!" On the other hand, if you listen, you'll find your conscience tells you a lot more than what you shouldn't do, and it can be an incredible asset.
  
• Replace the temptation with something good. If you can pray at night, you can pray anytime, and that might be an excellent time to do so. If you read the scriptures, and have access to them at that time, try that too. Even just redirecting yourself and doing something to keep you busy is better than to just idle around. As they say, idle hands are the devil's workshop. When I was on my mission in Spain we helped someone quit smoking, cold turkey. Conventional wisdom says that's nearly impossible to do, but I beg to differ; the key was that she had to eat fruit or something similar every time she had a craving. Later on it's pretty easy to beat a fruit addiction to get your weight down, so it's an excellent alternative to blackening your lungs. It worked like a charm, even though it was still difficult.
• Avoid the locations and triggers that cause the temptation. For example, if it is questionable images and such on the Internet, don't even go near the sites that would remind you of it. Learn the type of sites that don't seem connected, but where you know there's always going to be some bozo who pushes the envelop and puts something in there designed to accelerate you over that line again. Case in point: if you look for old ROMs of Nintendo games that run on various emulators, that seems pretty benign. In fact, you'd think that kids would be likely to search for that. DO NOT DO IT though, because those sites are usually laced with porn (and boy do those porn makers love to snag kids as young as they can). Just evil. Another case in point is looking up 3D renderings or desktop wallpapers. There are a ton of really neat ones out there, but somebody always has something pornographic or close enough to qualify on just about any site or gallery for those. It's a pretty small sacrifice to just avoid those unless you are at a known-good site that doesn't allow them.

People always feel so much better if they can overcome temptations that beset them, as it puts them in control of their life. Giving in to temptations is something most of the world will say "it is not a big deal," but having control of your thoughts and actions is a huge deal in my opinion. The most heroic people I have ever met are the ones who put aside the typical human tendencies and disciplined themselves into doing something far better. Avoiding and overcoming temptations are nothing short of mastering discipline of oneself.